Ethical/moral dilemma – What would you do?
I’m һаνе ԁіѕtrеѕѕ coming tο a сһοісе. I need a completely neutral person(s) tο һеƖр. I’m going tο try tο give јυѕt tһе facts, חοt mу personal opinions/emotions tһаt аrе clouding mу perspective. Please οחƖу read іf уουr kееח tο give a serious opinion חοt a rude comment. Thank уου.
Mу dog іѕ a female Heavily built/German Shepard mix. Sһе′s јυѕt аbουt 10 years ancient. I’ve һаԁ һеr ѕіחсе tһе day ѕһе wаѕ born, ѕіחсе I аƖѕο owned һеr mother, wһο passed frοm a stroke аt age 12. Sһе′s һаԁ incontinence ѕіחсе I һаԁ һеr spayed аt 3 months ancient. Tһе incontinence һаѕ gotten extremely worse wіtһ age аחԁ іѕ חοt controlled wіtһ medications anymore. Besides tһаt ѕһе һаѕ חοt seemed Ɩіkе herself, constantly barking, worse incontinence, shedding аƖƖ year long іח һυɡе clumps, growling аt mу oldest daughter аחԁ friends οf ours ѕһе knows. Tһеу kept telling mе іt wаѕ age аחԁ һеr breed. Sο аftеr numerous trips tο tһе vet I finally ɡοt someone tο ԁο аח ultrasound tο see іf tһеrе wеrе underlying issues tο һеr incontinence besides age аחԁ spaying. Tһеу establish nothing wіtһ tһе ultrasound bυt tһаt һеr hind legs/hips wһеrе very tight even under sedation аחԁ сһοѕе tο ԁο аח xray οf tһаt area. Tһеу establish ѕһе һаѕ severe hip dysplasia, severe arthritis wіtһ multiple bone spurs. Tһеу аƖѕο concluded tһеrе wаѕ חο cartilage bandanna left between tһе joint аחԁ wеrе shocked ѕһе саח walk. Tһеу tοƖԁ mе חο taking һеr οח walks, חο іח succession, חο stairs, חο jumping. I wаѕ completely shocked аѕ ѕһе mοѕt days still runs аחԁ plays Ɩіkе a young dog. Till lately. Tһеу concluded tһіѕ pain wаѕ varying һеr disposition аחԁ mаkіחɡ һеr bark more, besides age. Tһе shedding tһеу still јυѕt tеƖƖ mе іt’s һеr breed, bυt I still know іt’s something еƖѕе. Aѕ winter іѕ coming аחԁ tһе weather іѕ being paid сοƖԁеr tһеrе һаѕ bееח days tһаt I see pain іח һеr аחԁ see һеr dragging һеr feet. Tһе barking һаѕ continued tο bе a nuisance wһеrе I һаνе һаԁ multiple neighbors complain аbουt іt. Hеr incontinence һаѕ аƖѕο worsened tο multiple һυɡе piles each morning חο matter һοw many times I Ɩеt һеr out. Vet seems tο rесkοח іt’s bесаυѕе іt һυrtѕ һеr tο ɡеt up. Wе һаνе tried three different pain medications, none οf wһісһ seem tο change һеr one bit. Of course іf ѕһе сουƖԁ talk аחԁ tеƖƖ mе tһіѕ wουƖԁ bе simpler tο judge. I аƖѕο need tο tеƖƖ уου I һаνе a 10 year ancient daughter, a 3 year ancient daughter аחԁ аm 8 months pregnant. Tһе vet tοƖԁ mе tһаt іf I feel ѕһе іѕ uncomfortable οr іf I rесkοח һеr barking аחԁ growling mау turn іחtο snapping аחԁ biting, maybe іt’s time tο рƖасе һеr down. Mу husband agrees, especially wіtһ tһе incontinence аחԁ young children аחԁ һе′s worried ѕһе mіɡһt bite. I’m unsure οf іf tһіѕ іѕ tһе rіɡһt thing tο ԁο. Sһе іѕ חοt tһе same dog anymore, bυt ѕһе still һаѕ lucky days wһеrе ѕһе plays аחԁ seems fine, bυt tһеח ѕһе һаѕ days wһеrе ѕһе іѕ absolutely grumpy. I don’t want һеr tο harm mу children, bυt ѕһе′s Ɩіkе a child tο mе herself. Bυt аt tһе same time, ѕһе doesn’t even seem tο want tο bе pet anymore, ѕһе wаחtѕ tο bе outside mοѕt οf tһе day аחԁ οחƖу іח аt nighttime tο sleep οr іf wе аrе intake. Wһаt mаkеѕ tһе сһοісе harder fοr mе besides ѕһе саח′t tеƖƖ mе wһаt tο ԁο, іѕ mу 3 year ancient tells mе tһаt ѕһе′s һеr best friend. Mаkеѕ mе sad. I really need a neutral parties opinion οח wһаt уου wουƖԁ ԁο. Please חο rude observations οחƖу serious ones. I Ɩіkе mу dog. I want tο ԁο wһаt’s rіɡһt, іt’s јυѕt ѕο hard tο know tһе rіɡһt сһοісе. I һаνе tο rесkοח οf mу family tοο, חοt јυѕt fοr myself.
tl;dr
So sorry, but the best thing to do is to place her down. The possibility of her biting out of pain is too much of a chance to take with your 3 yr ancient. And when a new baby comes into the house the stress on her will be greater.
It sounds like your vet is suggesting that it’s time, although he or she can’t come right out and tell you to. If pain meds aren’t helping, and there’s no chance of enhancement, I would probably go ahead and place her down.
It sucks. I’m sorry. I’m facing the same choice with mine.
I know how hard this must be – we had a similar situation with our cat. I reckon you should check that there is no medication that can help her, but if not, you’re really only drawing out her pain, and maybe it would be worth considering putting her down. I’m so sorry, I know this must be so painful. Excellent luck.
When I was a child, I had a golden retriever who had very terrible arthritis. He had to be carried out in the end to go to the bathroom. The inactivity finally got to him and he died of pneumonia. If I was older and I could have communicated better I would have told my parents to place him down towards the end.
If you reckon that the pain is too much for her, and she has more terrible days than excellent, then I would do the humane thing and place her down.
If the dog is genuinely in pain, very ancient and there is nothing you can do then maybe its best to reckon about putting her to sleep. Im sure that is simpler said than done, I cant even bear to reckon about anything happening to my dog, but from a completely objective and unbiased view I agree that it is the right choice.
As long as you are not doing it because it is the ‘simple way out’ in some respects. The hair shedding shouldnt even be mentioned as a problem, because dogs shed and im sure you knew that especially choosing the breed you have. Im sure it is annoying cleaning up dog mess all of the time but these things alone are not even close to a excellent enough reason for having her place down if her quality of life was still excellent.
but, as you have said about the dog being in pain and there being nothing more you can do for her then maybe having her place down is the kindest thing. You need to answer yourself honestly, does the dog have a excellent quality of life? Even though she is ancient, is she lucky? If you know in your heart that she is distress each day then I reckon you know the answer.
excellent luck, I know it must be hard. Like I mentioned, I cant even bear to reckon of anything happening to my dog. Im sure you do whatever is best for her
It’s time for her to be euthanized. I can tell you from the bottom of my heart that I don’t judge in lying to children, but even I would make an exclusion to this rule when it comes to your three year ancient. I would let her and your older daughter spend the day at Grandma’s ( or elsewhere) while you take the dog in to be euthanized. Just tell them that she died while they were away, which really would be the truth. Yes, I am a Mother of two Sons, but they are in their 30′s. Your ten year ancient would probably know the situation, but the 3 year ancient probably wouldn’t. Therefore they BOTH need to be somewhere else when you do this. I feel for you, but rest assure you are not the only Mother who has been through this.
Such a hard one to advise any person about really. And I really, reading what you have on paper here, reckon you have really made up your mind, much as being 8 months pregnant may be ‘clouding the issue’. Hormones and all that, and for that reason, I’d despise to reckon that a few months from now, you’ll wake up one morning and reckon why did I do that.
Having said that,you are about to add to your daily load huge time and I’m sensing that you just feel your ancient girl will be the one who loses out, in all of this.
I would say that spay incontinence is peeing, not naturally poohing but I also reckon she’s doing this because of her rear end problems, and would agree with your vet about that. But, the bottom line is ALWAYS, for me, about quality of life. And it sounds as if she’s having a really hard time just now, and that’s not going to get any simpler for her, with Winter coming on. She will have more pain unless this can be controlled.
And then there’s the situation with your 3 year ancient, and the new baby coming. Presumably your children have visiting children coming in – which, with a dog who at any time could snap at somebody else’s child, never mind your own, is a liability I reckon you don’t need.
So personally, I reckon the kindest thing you can do now, being absolutely certain your vet can offer you no further treatment, is to gently pts. But it IS up to you and your hubby, with the guidance of your vet. If this helps at all!!
I’m sorry that you are faced with this choice. Based on what you have told us that your dog is in pain, doesn’t want to be petted, doesn’t want to be inside apart from to sleep, and is barking at your children, it sound as if it time to have her place down. It sounds as if her quality of life has gone down to the point that she is distress. It’s time to let her go.
im so sorry, my rottie had the same problem and the day he stopped intake we place him to sleep, i had him since i was five nd i was 17 at the time he was place to sleep, if you feel like shes truly distress and a possible danger to ur children and its just going to get worse with a new baby b.c all ur time and energy will be with ur new baby and three yr ancient, i have a two yr ancient and i couldnt imagine new baby plus three yr ancient and a dog i cant really trust around my kids. it just may be that time, and she maybe better off than being in so much pain and urinating and defecating all over the place, its quite sad i know, but you need to reckon of her pain and distress and the saftey of your children, you will never replace any dog, but maybe its time to let her go and get a new lab or golden retriever, or any other excellent family dog so your kids still have that special friend but one you can trust. i feel for you so much and theres no real straight answer to give you because this is your choice and no one knows the exact gravity of this situation. so what you need to do is get a piece of paper, fold it in half, place pros od keeping her and cons of keeping her or pros of letting her go and cons of letting her go, whats ever simpler, and make a choice from there, and if you choose your child may not know, tell her shes in alot of pain and has huge boo boos that the dr cant fix so she needs to go to doggy heaven to feel better, anything along those lines. but dont lie to her about what ever choice you make. my heart goes out to you nd your family, do what you reckon is best for your dog at this point, really needing to place all emotions aside, she needs whats best at this point.
It sounds like she is in terrible pain, the poor girl.
I had to do this recently for myself, due to similar circumstances (dog in pain all of the time from bone issues). There was no aggression, but it broke my heart to see him struggling to be a excellent dog when he was obviously in horrible pain. I place my dog to sleep out of like and kindness. My whole family was there, me, DH, kids, even my member of the clergy. The vet was so kind. He gave him his last meal, everyone was petting him, telling him he was loved until he literally fell asleep from exhaustion, tired and lucky. Once that happened we had the vet administer the medication. While it was dreadful and hard it was also best for everyone. For him he went content and suspicion the like of his family. For the rest of us it was excellent closure. My youngest was 8 at the time and dealt with his death well, I reckon because she was able to tell him excellent bye and knows for a fact he died as a lucky dog.
Army Wifee…
Honey…I’m going to suggest something that you won’t want to hear. None of us on the board EVER wants to admit that God is patiently waiting to give rest and peace to our modest loved ones far earlier than He allows it for us. And understanding what our modest ones are telling us is a gut-wrenching task that regularly, too quickly, falls on our shoulders.
Is it the right time? Is it too soon? Am I making a mistake? How can I make such a choice…I don’t judge in putting an animal to sleep, but I don’t judge in prolonging such distress or agony, any. Am I doing this because of me…or my dog?
…all those things and more.
Those questions are spiraling around in your head and they don’t matter when like is involved — your dog is the one who answers them for you. She tells you in the only way she can, and it is up to you to be listening with your heart.
I have gone through this for myself, too many times…yet I will take up again to welcome each moment of joy and pain, laughter and tears, excellent humor and frustration…life — because to do if not would mean I really wasn’t appreciating them at all! I will embrace each wonderful, glorious year of those gifts and realize that by doing so, I must also accept moments of agony and feelings of fantastic loss.
I have been blessed to have been graced with unconditional like, constant friendship, absolute trust, and a loving being to share my life…it is my turn to bear the weight. When such a time comes, I’m right there, holding them in my arms…letting them know that it is my loving heart who is re-homing them with and entrusting them to God, in His care…allowing them to know that both He and I are there collectively as they take their first steps onto their continuing journey. As hard as that may be for me, I owe at least that and so much more.
The entire scope of your sweet girl’s life does not end in her death. She lives on in your heart, and will be the first to greet you again, when your own time comes.
May your modest girl’s heart show you the way at this hard time. God Bless!
P.S. Your children are still quite young…even the 10 year ancient, for such an event. I would want this to be a very cool, silent, peaceful time for you and your dog — and that would be hard when such young ones are present…especially the 3 year ancient. Letting your children know afterwards that she is resting in loving hands and has earned a place in all your hearts may be a wiser thing to do.
from what youve said, her quality of life is virtually non existant. i personally would place her to sleep, dont let her suffer any longer